Better in all things in 2012

I read a lot of blogs today, and am inspired. I noticed that most of those that had many followers in a way were carved around a niche, or at least a common theme or purpose somehow connected the posts and gave the blog over-all cohesiveness. Or if not, those were the ones that were so deeply creative and 'relatable' that they enable the reader to just feel the blogger. They're the type that beckon you--one with the particular interest the blog caters to--to visit again and again. Those that had already built up a sustainable number of readers also off the benefit of knowing and interacting directly with people with the same interests.

From the state of my blog, you can probably see just how far I am from achieving any semblance of the 'wow' factor that draws so many people to the type of blogs I just outlined in the first paragraph. Most of the blog posts I've posted, I'm well aware, are centered around me fully. I've come across pages in the past that mostly contained text. Such a sight instantly drives me away and makes me click the 'back' button. I reckon the same must be happening with any of the accidental traffic that this site could be garnering.

I don't know how exactly I shall become a better blogger, or how to write better to make my posts more worthy and interesting. But I'm willing to learn how. I could maybe start by adding more visuals to every post I put up, or talk about something useful that would soothe not only my vanity and need for a release but also provide the benefit of joy and utility to readers. I know that this won't be such an easy task and getting any traffic (I thank Alexandria, currently my lone subsriber:DD) and writing in such a way to sustain this traffic would require hard work.

It's the new year. Hopefully 2012 will be a harbinger of great news to this small space in cyber world.

Source of picture

Bidding adieu to by bum, old self

So, I've been pretty much a bum again for most of the Christmas break and have been doing things that I've sworn time and again to never again engage in--things I hope to put a stop to completely this new year.

I'm reminding myself that it's already the 27th and of all the books and reading materials I've brought home, only one has been read through, and not yet even completely. I've been in online meetings already, but these were obligatory, so I don't see them as leaps of resolve and determination on my part. I'll be oh so happy to let reality intrude now--my reality being too much work to do with so little time. Oh, if only it were even remotely possible for me to be 90%+ efficient when trying to finish tasks; but I take so many breaks in between, and find myself frequently going downstairs to get myself something to eat.

So this morning I've determinedly set out to study--but have not really accomplished my goals for today. And now again I've been struck with the desire to write a new post--and what with all the interesting articles that have cropped up in my reading list from the blogs I've been following--I've allocated uhm the next 30 minutes - hour to pure blogging bliss.

Sigh. Enjoy this while you can, self. Because you're about to get kicked out soon.

Hello, better me!

My Personal SWOT

Beware how this will be a VERY PERSONAL post. This is something I've written for a subject that required me to detail on my perception of my personality, including my strengths and weaknesses among others. I may edit next time--either expound or add--as it's almost 3AM already.

Personal SWOT Analysis (Check the paragraphs that follow for further illumination of my character.)

Strengths -Dogged determination to continue task(/s) until accomplished -Great with paper -Eagerness to learn and be taught -Love for marketing and brands (I read about them in my free time) -Meticulous and into details -Loves to answer Q&A -Able to do well enough when put on the spot -Resilient	Weaknesses - Poor time management -Not good enough with Photoshop -Sometimes get easily distracted and swayed by temptations -Not a confident enough public speaker -Competitive only because the people around me are
Opportunities -BA198 and BA170 classes	Threats -Distractions and irritations in dormitory including facebook, noisy roommates, non-academic books, poor lighting, a bed that beckons one to sleep -Other responsibilities that would compete with 198 for my time: other subjects, two org positions

Some highlights:

I would highlight my lack of confidence to speak in public or around many people, which often would stop me from participating in discussions. I’ve always had stage fright. But I’m here in 198 and am hopeful and determined to fight and overcome this weakness. Odd thing about me though is that when I’m put on the spot or am forced to talk and answer (i.e. during reports), I can perform reasonably well enough. I just have to get past the initial jitters from the excess adrenaline caused by my anticipation for what is to come.

Currently, I don’t think I’m competitive, innately. I’m pressured into being competitive because of all the ambitious and competitive people around me. Although I do like the thrill of recognition, and I think this and my desire to better myself each time and to learn something new and be good at it will drive me to exert my best effort for this special class.

However, for the threats, I’ve done something to address them. I’ve set up a study lamp. I know I have to force myself to considerably lessen my time in facebook. As for distracting roommates, I plan to ignore them in any way I can or leave the dorm for some establishment outside where I can study and work in peace. I need to better manage my time, and I’m learning.

Management Style:

Whenever I work with people, I like to make sure that tasks are delegated properly to each one to expedite things. I also involve myself with all the tasks everyone is set to do and feel at ease only when I know of every single thing and update with regards to the progress of all the people in the group. Also, I ask questions often and am meticulous about details. While I think this can be a good thing, I think too that too much of this can already be disruptive and only diverting. I don’t let go of an issue so easily unless I’m satisfied with the answer I’ve come up to.

What motivates me: Success; Learning; Getting recognized; Assurance from family and friends; Prayers; and more recently, failure and the need to prove people wrong

What de-motivates me: Failure which makes me doubt myself and my capabilities (for a while, although it serves to motivate and make me spring into action to better my situation)

So reader, if you've gone through this post, what do you perceive to be your strengths and weaknesses? And what are the threats and opportunities that surround you?

Reaching out for freedom

I can’t help but be overly excited about the impending semestral break because that to my tired and beaten self represents freedom. And hopefully implies success after taking all the challenges and work this semester has thrown me and surviving.

Right now, I’m studying for an exam. I still have three left, and I’m determined and hopeful of being the best student I can be so I may enjoy that short break with only thoughts and feelings of elation, and achievement. These last three exams, particularly the two accounting exams I'll still be having I just know will indelibly mark and shape those short 12 or so days.

God, help me. Help us all. 

Eager for flight, but still currently in a bind

Justice for Given

A 19-year old student from UPLB got raped and killed by a shot on the forehead—according to police reports, by two men who were security guards no less—a few days back.

I read the news from the internet, belatedly, and I’m still shaking and screaming from the inside (although silently, because I’m around people). For Grace Given, the world has ended. Why did they have to kill her, why?! They had already raped her, and it would have been very painful but she could have had a chance at life. She could have had a chance to heal from the trauma and the sickness after the incident but these two merciless guys robbed her even of that. Why, why, why?!

It maddens, drives me mad utterly, to hear about Grace’s sad, terrible fate. I read somewhere that she was a dedicated student, and even got an uno for a recent research paper. They had absolutely no right to rob her of her future, and her parents and family a dear loved one.

I’ve found myself in tears for Grace, even though I don’t know her. May God bless her soul. And may justice be served, whatever that amounts to now.

Mismatch

I feel kind of sad because I just got my first ever college 18^th birthday party invite and I won’t be able to go because I’d already be home by then. I’m sure I would love putting on a gown, a mask, anything—whatever is called for—and hanging out with the birthday girl and friends, but then. Oh well, circumstances. Circumstances.

Am I pathetic or what?

Happy birthday, friend! Here's a virtual cake for you!:)

This which can be viral

I've always been appalled at how some people could hate others with a virulence that I didn't feel warranted. I've seen people like these, and have always thought them petty. But now, I am experiencing this same thing. I hate this person and I feel warranted in my anger. And I really am just new to the feeling that in truth it's terrifying to deal with. Pardon me for this unforgivably garbled post, this might be taken some other time in the future and never see the light of the day.

Now she plays her violin. I can just feel the tense and rigid set of my jaw. I shall play my playlist and let my speakers blare out to their fullest to block her out. I just hope she's not dumb enough to realize.